Back in February, my school had spirit week. And one of our days was Tacky Holiday Day. Best part- teachers got to dress up too!
Most people dressed up as Christmas, or had something tacky.
I decided to be Arbor Day.
Why yes, I am festooned in ivy, thank you.
One of the perks of working in a bridal shop is trying on bridal gowns when work is slow. It’s really fun. I’ve tried on some really…um…interesting gowns.
The best one? The knockoff Kate Middleton dress. It’s beautiful, right? Classy and glamorous and elegant and simple in its royal glory? So of course anyone who puts it on will gain those same powers, right?
I look more like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls when she goes to the Halloween party.
Related: it does not look very pretty bustled. A friend tried it on and I pinned it and…well. It’s not good. Not good at all. It looks like someone poured meringue down their back.
WELCOME TO THE DRESS SIDE!! IT’S FUN HERE!!
I get my dresses all over the place. Forever 21 is hit or miss for me- I am rather large of boob, and a lot of their wovens don’t fit me right. Charlotte Russe used to be a go-to place, but lately they have all clubwear and…um, I’m not so much a club lady. Old Navy is good sometimes, mostly for basic knit maxi dresses.
Honestly, my favorite place to get dresses is Modcloth.com. They have a lot of dresses in the $40-$50 range, which isn’t too bad for a decent dress, and while they sometimes aren’t as perfect as they are online (the perils of ordering without seeing), you can at least read reviews beforehand, and they have a great return policy. I have about ten of their dresses and I adore them!
I also sew a lot of my own clothes, which comes in handy. I sew them from scratch, and I can take a dress that’s too big or too long and take it in to the proper size.
This has been a post about dresses for short people.
My kitten is the cutest kitten.
I’ve never had a pet. Except for the ant farm I accidentally slaughtered when I was in kindergarten, but that’s another story. P and I talked a while about getting a pet, but we didn’t really have any plans.
And then a coworker of mine needed to give a kitten a home, and we volunteered.
Okay, well…let’s rewind a little bit. I work at a bridal shop, right? Well, one of the girls in the tux department got two baby kittens for her son for Easter. Within a few weeks, she realized that two kittens were a huge pain and she didn’t want them. Oh, and her son was five months old. So she brought the kittens in a box to work, dumped them in the break room, and said “whoever wants them can have them.” Nice, hm?
Well, the calico girl kitten got adopted by another tux girl, but the little black boy kitten- Fitzgerald- went home with one of the bridal consultants. Then she realized that her puppy didn’t exactly get along with Fitzgerald (who by now had been renamed Oscar)- she had to leave the kitten locked in the bathroom all day to keep the puppy away from him. So she asked me if P and I wanted to take the kitten.
Did we ever!
She brought the fuzzy little darling over and we’ve both been in love with him ever since. P picked the name- we named him Hiccup after the hero of How To Train Your Dragon, which is ironic because he looks and acts more like Toothless. He’s a little over a year old now, and he’s our sweet darling baby bugaboo.
Except when he pees on everything I love. But that’s another story.
But here, have another picture of our baby cuddling in his blankie when he was only about seven weeks old.
ADLSKFJKLD LET ME CUDDLE YOU.
I am precisely 4’ 11 3/4” tall, but I usually say 5’ just for simplicity’s sake.
And I LOVE dresses. I don’t know what it is, but with my height and my body type I just feel more comfortable in a dress. Add a pair of leggings and some boots or ballet flats, and that’s basically my sartorial life. In 2010, I only wore pants twice. I wear them more often now because they’re often more practical at work, but when I’m the American J.K. Rowling I’m going to have a wardrobe full of Modcloth and Anthropologie and Betsey Johnson dresses and then WEAR THE SHIT OUT OF THEM.
I’ve never been much of a breakfast person, but oh, I could eat this for breakfast every morning. I like to serve it with a glass of milk and a sliced tomato. Mm. So good.
Crap. Now I’m hungry.
-Butter a griddle and a round metal…thing. Like a metal biscuit cutter, or the ring from a jam jar. Crack an egg into the metal ring and cook over medium heat. Cover if you can.
-Prepare your bread. Biscuits, bagels, English muffins, or slices of bread are always good options, but I’ve even used Eggo waffles.
-Put sliced ham (or chicken or turkey or what have you) on one side and a slice of cheese on the other. I love muenster, but you can do whatever you want.
-When the egg is cooked to your liking, pry it carefully out of the metal ring and drop it lightly onto your sandwich. If it goes flying and you say some bad things, don’t worry, I shan’t judge, I’ve done it too.
-Assemble your sandwich, stuff it in your face, and smile.
I shall be sewing snaps for ages.