SO OKAY HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED AT WORK LAST NIGHT.

The park closed at like 7:30 or so for normal guests. I go and park my ride vehicle, and then my coordinator is like “go to Streets of America and cheer for people on the red carpet.”

I was like “…okay.”

So I go down to Streets of America and spend the next half an hour clapping and cheering with a bunch of equally confused attractions cast members as nine buses full of people walk down the red carpet. In between buses we danced. Dances included the macarena, the pony, the hula, and some kind of 50s background singer shoop thing.

Turns out we were bought out by the biggest bank in Mexico. Okay, cool. Park buyouts happen periodically. But…they didn’t pay for any rides. None. THEY RENTED OUT A THEME PARK AND CHOSE NOT TO PAY FOR ANY RIDES. So literally they had a dance party on Streets of America for like two hours.

After approximately 904928 people had disembarked, we were sent to get ready for fireworks. We sent Serial Killer Mortimer (his name’s not really Mortimer, but we do call him Serial Killer *Name*, which is a story of its own) to get the keys to the illegal closet. He vanished. He was later found pooping. But we got the keys, we got the ropes and stanchions out of the illegal closet…and something bit me. Like literally there was some kind of insect hiding in the ropes that bit my finger and made it swell up like whoa. It wasn’t pleasant. I was sent inside to put ice and hydrocortisone on it.

Eventually I came back out to do fireworks crowd control, which basically meant I stood behind the rope making sure no one crossed into the fallout zone. But my hand was still ballooning, so I ended up doing the awkward princess elbow rest instead (again, another story). By then people were beginning to meander from Streets of America to the hat. So they started playing music, and I was like “cool, preshow entertainment.”

NO NOT COOL THEY LITERALLY PLAYED “WALK THIS WAY” BY AEROSMITH ON A CONSTANT LOOP FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. IT NEVER ENDED.

And then finally they did fireworks, which were very nice and set to a medley of Disney music. And then the president (?) of the bank came up and spoke in Spanish for literally twenty minutes and the crowd kept cheering and we were all like “…we are not properly equipped to understand what’s happening.”

And once he was done the entire crowd vanished in literally three minutes. But they turned “Walk This Way” back on for eight more minutes.

That was my crazy night at work last night.

Also my finger still hurts.