Elderly Man: *puts his hand on my shoulder* “Can you tell an old marine where the smoking section is?”

Me: *explains*

Elderly Man: *looks me up and down with his hand still on my shoulder* “I’d say God bless you, but…if this was the old days you’d be blessing me.”

Me: “…oh my goodness.”

*once he’s out of earshot*

Amanda: “What was that about??”

Me: “…I think he said that if this was the old days he would bang me.”