The Metaphor Girl

I'm a button, I'm a horseshoe, I'm a girl who's bad at metaphors.

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About Me

I’m Caitlin, and I’m finally coming through the other side of my quarter-life crisis. I live in Florida with my spoiled little cats, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock IV and Astrid Cagney Hofferson. I had the privilege of working at the Great Movie Ride in Disney’s Hollywood Studios for four years and was part of the closing team, so you might have seen me as a tour guide, Mugsi Toccata, or Kate Durango. I’m now currently a guide at Kilimanjaro Safaris. When I’m not driving around in circles pointing at four different kinds of antelopes, I’m often found performing in local theatrical productions. or spending time with my giant boyfriend. Favorite things include the smell of dryer sheets, marathons of canceled TV shows, and rainy days (as long as I’m indoors at home).

Email me at themetaphorgirl@yahoo.com.

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I’m a bad candidate for the “see how much you’ve aged” meme.

I ride this like ten times a day, but sometimes it’s nice to just ride, especially when all your favorites are out and you win Antelope Bingo™️ #thelittlestsimbaone (thanks @madlynm for a great safari!!)

I know this is a silly internet fad, but Jane Wyman played uncredited chorus girls for five years before she got a named and credited role, and worked another eleven years after that until she won her Oscar. That’s the kind of thing I need to hear today.

A lot of people make the resolution to say yes more often; I need to make the resolution to say no. 2018 decided to throw me a curveball and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that isn’t exactly responding that well to treatment. 2018 was a year of lab work, medication adjustments, and lifestyle changes while I tried to keep up with my usual pace. I worked on seven shows this year (including my Fringe debut and directing my first show in Orlando!) but I have had no energy for anything else in my life. And that’s not okay. Next year will be all about tackling this new approach to life, slowing down and not doing three shows at once (again), and actually spending time with my boyfriend and the friends I haven’t seen in ages unless we’re at the same rehearsal. Here’s hoping for a happy and healthy 2019!

“Khaki isn’t a color, it’s an attitude.” Also the pink bubble at the top is definitely all the pink I wore for Charley’s Aunt and Drood this year. #yearincolor #yearincolor2018

Honestly pretty surprised by this. Mostly work, no shows, and an old cosplay. This...does not seem like how my year went at all. #topnine2018

Alexa, play “Africa” by Toto. #thelittlestsimbaone

Tonight was the last performance of It’s a Wonderful Life, my first show as a director in five years, and it was completely sold out. I had a great cast and a great team with me, and my heart is happy. #moonlightplayers #itsawonderfullife

She doesn’t even go here. #meangirls @shaneisrad

The closest I’ll ever come to dancing in The Nutcracker- doing an arabesque in front of a nutcracker.

We open on Friday. To quote another show, “I’m excited and scared.” #itsawonderfullife #moonlightplayers

Happy birthday, Mr. Disney.

Repping @kath_steele on the east coast #wherearehergills

Thanks, Disney, for making a shirt just for me #shortpeopleproblems

If you’re looking for something fun to do this Christmas, I’m directing a show so maybe like come see it and stuff? (It’s going to be a great show and we only run two weekends!) #moonlightplayers

Happy Thanksgiving!! We made hand turkeys at work so of course I made a Tina Belcher one.

There’s a rule that if there’s something remotely cellar-like, Cheryl has to make a reappearance. #evildead #cheryl #evildeadthemusical #moonlightplayers

My run in The Mystery of Edwin Drood ended yesterday. It was a challenging show for me and I learned so much- I got to sing a G5, high kick on a slope, and harmonize in a quartet, all while wearing a corset. I’m really going to miss the cast and all of our running gags the most I think though. I had a blast playing “the mouthy little one in pink” and I hope I get the chance to do this show again someday. #drood #mysteryofedwindrood #florencegill

I made Winifred Banks proud today #govote

“This is me, Eliza Thornberry, part of your average family. I've got a dad, a mom, and a sister. There is Donnie - we found him. And Darwin, he found us. Oh yeah, about our house - it moves, because we travel all over the world. You see, my dad hosts this nature show, and my mom shoots it. Okay, so we're not that average. And between you and me, something amazing happened... and now I can talk to animals. It's really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.” #halloween #butalsomeeveryday #elizathornberry #thelittlestsimbaone #kilimanjarosafari

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