One of the perks of working in a bridal shop is trying on bridal gowns when work is slow. It’s really fun. I’ve tried on some really…um…interesting gowns.

The best one? The knockoff Kate Middleton dress. It’s beautiful, right? Classy and glamorous and elegant and simple in its royal glory? So of course anyone who puts it on will gain those same powers, right?

Let’s see…

LOL NO.

I look more like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls when she goes to the Halloween party.

Related: it does not look very pretty bustled. A friend tried it on and I pinned it and…well. It’s not good. Not good at all. It looks like someone poured meringue down their back.

I am so tired of the color red.