aries-
sarcastic, bright, lost. the most beautiful smiles i’ve ever seen. don’t know their own strength or their own value. kind to those that they care about.

taurus-
cruel sometimes, unbelievably stubborn and extremely kind. uncompromising, bad with change, willing to settle. good taste in music, great taste in people.

gemini-
needs reassurance often, always willing to help someone they know. hard workers, strong, athletic, intelligent. never trust that the people they love are going to stay.

cancer-
withdrawn when worried, the brightest thing in the room when happy. bright laugh, naturally downturned lips, issues with expressing emotion. silver tongues but terrible at keeping friends.

leo-
golden like the sunlight, blinding like the sun. kind but harsh, perfect hair, willing to work for what they have. beautiful but sometimes unapproachable.

virgo-
awkward but sweet, never seems to sleep, loves animals. hard to pin down emotionally, mentally, or physically. strong, capable, unwilling to sugarcoat anything for anyone.

libra-
athletic, fierce, independent. when they fall in love they never really fall out of it. a great friend, beautiful smiles, odd taste in food. when they stop something, they tend to not start again.

scorpio-
intelligent and determined, all hard edges and uncompromising ideals. physically fit, likes to help other people, animal lovers. extremely close to their family and friends.

sagittarius-
strong pillars to lean on, supportive of others, good teachers. polite but not overly kind, caring but not overly involved. independent, gorgeous, extremely capable of doing basically anything.

capricorn-
sometimes too much to handle, extremely caring. always put themselves first. feel things deeply. strong eyebrows, bright eyes, big laugh. values material objects and family.

aquarius-
dislikes people as a whole, loves select individuals fiercely and unfailingly. harsh, very smart, materialistic. lazy but once they decide they want something they will go to the ends of the earth to get it.

pisces-
dramatic, loud, fills up the whole room with their presence. bad days are really bad, good days are really good, there is not often an in between. lover of philosophy, deep thought, and beer.

the signs as i know them -(me)

ARIES: find a patch of sweet smelling grass to lay down in. breathe. you are what you love not who loves you. 

TAURUS: eat ice cream and make bad puns. try to taste the clouds, you can do everything if you just put some effort into it. 

GEMINI: create and don’t be afraid. you are a technological virtuoso. make yourself laugh more. 

CANCER: there is comfort at the bottom of the swimming pool. swim away from everything that makes you feel like you are drowning.

LEO: take care of yourself. eat fruits and sleep with stuffed animals. dream of flying, because you’re almost there. 

VIRGO: wear flowers in your hair and let strangers compliment you. you are beautiful. do what makes you feel alive. 

LIBRA: stay hydrated and buy things that lighten the burden on your shoulders. expel the feeling of anger from your system.

SCORPIO: kiss yourself cause you’re so pretty. go to a party and try not to get drunk. give the world a chance. 

SAGITTARIUS: look at the ink stains on your hands and know that you have worked yourself to where you are now. be proud. fall asleep to new music. everything is only going to get better from here. 

CAPRICORN: stay as bright as you are. you are a comet child. let your heart sing your favorite song, don’t be afraid of singing the words wrong. 

AQUARIUS: write out every bad thing of everyday. it won’t change anything but find solace in crumpled up paper and coffee stains. you must learn to move on. but it will be for the better. remember that. 

PISCES: count the candles on your birthday cake and know you are brighter and more brilliant than every single one of them. surround yourself with warm coffee and soft voices saying “i love you.” hold on to my hand, you are not lost.

MARCH ADVICE FOR THE SIGNS //  (x.v)

ARIES 
this is no fairy tale. you are doubting and dangerous and a bleeding mass of sea foam that someone made the mistake of loving. falling is no sweet ocean, my dear, and the knives on your feet will not kiss you softly. 

TAURUS
you are not forgotten. 

GEMINI
start a collection. find seashells, find sunsets, find bone pieces and keep them stored in a matchbox. bite down deep into your tongue, taste the blood running. 

CANCER
you never did let her kill you, but the sentiment still stands.

LEO 
i have drunk up the sea, the sky, all the water and the blood. for you. i couldn’t help it, though. the colour was just so perfect, so happy, i wanted it to become me, be inside of me. i needed it, oh baby oh baby oh baby.

VIRGO 
you are less so a person than a document of the bruising mouth.

LIBRA
there are no gods, my darling, there is no night. there is only your hand in mine and the tenderest call of sleep. maybe when we wake up you will taste different, of springwater and ash, and not of the sea. 

SCORPIO
i hope this is love. i hope that when you wrap your arms around me you feel the thrum of cities, the call of armies, the gathering of empires. loving you is carved into the very pillars of the altar, and cults dance frenzies to you in the night.

SAGITTARIUS
somewhere between the cold dark earth and the glistening forever, i can taste you rot.

CAPRICORN
i can’t sleep for fear of missing you, but i know the only way i can see you again is if the nightmares creep on slick. loving you was a mistake, a jaundice, veins cracking at midnight but oh god you could kiss.

AQUARIUS
lose the bloodstains, baby. i can see right through you.

PISCES
then stop cutting me open, sweetheart.

rising by a.g. (via hcspera)

21 Tips to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed.

A while ago, I penned a fairly angry response to something circulating on the internet – the 21 Habits of Happy People. It pissed me off beyond belief, that there was an inference that if you weren’t Happy, you simply weren’t doing the right things.

I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember. It’s manifested in different ways. I did therapy. I did prozac. I did more therapy. My baseline is melancholic. I’d just made peace with it when I moved, unintentionally, to a place that had markedly less sunshine in the winter. I got seasonal depression. I got that under control. Then I got really, really sick. Turns out it’s a permanent, painful genetic disorder. My last pain-free day was four years ago.

So, this Cult of Happy article just set me off. Just… anger. Rage. Depression is serious – debilitating, often dangerous, and it’s got an enormous stigma. It leaves people to fend for themselves.

It’s bad enough without people ramming Happy Tips at you through facebook. There is no miracle behaviour change that will flip that switch for you. I know, I’ve tried.

A friend of mine suggested that I write something from my point of view because, surprisingly, I manage to give an outwards impression of having my shit together. I was shocked to hear this. And I find this comical, but I see her point. I’m functioning. I’ve adapted. I’m surprisingly okay. I think the medical term is “resilient”.

So, here it is.

My 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

1) Know that you’re not alone. Know that we are a silent legion, who, every day face the solipsism and judgement of Happy People Who Think We Just Aren’t Trying. There are people who are depressed, people who have been depressed, and people who just haven’t been hit with it yet.

2) Understand that the Happy People are usually acting out of some genuine (albeit misguided) concern for you, that it’s coming from a good place, even if the advice feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. Telling you these things makes them feel better, even if it makes you feel like shit. (If they insist on keeping it up, see #12.)

3) Enlist the help of a professional. See your doctor. You need to talk about the ugly shit, and there are people paid to listen and help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel.

4) Understand that antidepressants will only do so much. They’re useful, they’ll level you out and give you the time you need to figure out your own path to getting well. They can be helpful. There are lots to choose from. They may not be for you, and even if they are, they take some time to kick in. Conversely, they may not be for you. Work with your doctor.

5) Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, an activity you got joy from in the past and re-explore that. Or, sign up for the thing you always wanted to try. There is a long history and link between depression and creativity. It’s a bright light of this condition, so utilize it to your best advantage.

6) Eat nutritionally sound, regular small meals. If you’re having trouble eating, try to focus on what you’d like to eat. I went through a whole six week episode of tomatoes and cream cheese on a bagel twice a day. Not great, but it was something – helpful context, I’m a recovered anorexic. Conversely, if all you want to do is scarf down crap, try to off-ramp it by downing a V-8 and doing #9 for 15 minutes, and see how you feel. Chucking your blood sugar all over hell’s half acre is going to make you feel worse.

7) While you’re doing #3, get some bloodwork done. If you’re low on iron or vitamin D, or if your hormone levels are doing the Macarena… these can all contribute to zapping your energy or switching your mood to Bleak As Hell.

8) If you’re in bed and the “insomnia hamsters”, as I like to call them, are on the wheel of your head, watch Nightly Business News on PBS. This has the effect of Nyquil. Swap out your coffee for herbal tea. If you just cannot sleep, try the next tip….

9) Learn how to meditate. Start by focusing on your breathing. Not sleep, not thoughts. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Meditation is focusing on being present in your body, not careening around in your brain. It may not be as good as sleep but it will give you some rest and recharge you.

10) Face a window as often as you can – at work, at home. Look out into the world. Watch. Observe. Try to find something you find pretty or interesting to focus on. And, handily remember that one in five of those people out there feel the way you do.

11) Cry. Better out than in. Sometimes it’s not convenient or career-enhancing to cry, so find a private place as best you can and let the tears go. Carry Kleenex and face wipes and extra concealer if you wear makeup. You can always claim allergies.

12) Any “friend” who resolutely believes that your depression is because you’re lazy, because you’re not trying hard enough, who blames you for not bootstrapping out of it- that friend needs to be cut off. Polite (#2) is one thing, but there is a limit. You don’t have to explain, you can just not respond. You feel badly enough, you don’t need their “assistance”.

13) Limit your time with people who drain you. You know who they are. Often you don’t have a choice- but you can put the meter on. And, subsequently, be aware of what you’re asking of those close to you.

14) Everyone has shit they’ve got to deal with. What you have been saddled with is your shit. Recognize, just as you’re not alone, you’re also not unique. The grass may look greener, you may be jealous or envious of others who don’t have to deal with depression, but you likely do not know everything that’s going on with them.

15) Let go or be dragged. This is an old Buddhist saying. It’s a very useful way to frame aspects of depression. Betrayal, anger, fear… letting go is a process – often a painful and difficult process – but it’s ultimately going to show you the path out of this terrible place. Repeating the mantra can help when you’re feeling gripped by these feelings.

16) Wear clothes that make you feel confident. It takes as much time to put on nice clothes as it does to put on sweatpants. You will want to wear the sweatpants. Fight the urge. The whole “look good/feel better” campaign isn’t limited to cancer and chemotherapy. Or women.

17) Avoid fictional drama and tragedy like the plague. No Grey’s Anatomy, no to The Notebook, or anything that won a Pulitzer prize. You’ve got enough going on In Real Life. Comedy only. Or trashy stuff. Old episodes of WonderWoman? I’ve got the box set. Mindless drivel, like the latest CGI blockbuster. Or clever, funny books. David Sedaris. Jenny Lawson. Fiction exists to elicit emotion, and the emotion you need to express most right now is laughter.

18) Simple exercise, if you can. It can be something as simple as taking the stairs up a flight, or walking around the block. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, it doesn’t have to involve climbing a mountain or running a marathon. Baby steps.

19) Depression will lie to you. Depression will try to tell you what others are thinking. That you are unloved and unworthy, that others think little of you or don’t care – or even wish you harm. You are not a psychic. Keep repeating that. “I am not a psychic”. Repeat. The only way to know what another person is thinking is to up and ask them.

20) If you are well and truly losing this battle, reach out to someone. I’ve been the random friendly-but-not-close person who has fielded the occasional outreach. I like to think I’m not judgemental and generally resourceful, and others have thought the same, so they called and asked. You know someone like me. And they will help you.

21) Forgive yourself. I’m writing out all these tips, and I can’t always muster the strength to even stick my nose outside, or walk up the stairs, or eat my vegetables. Today, I got outside for ten minutes. I will try again tomorrow. And I will try again the day after that.

http://www.diycouturier.com/post/47249603128/21-tips-to-keep-your-shit-together-when-youre (via jessiawesome)

I’ve been so low again lately and thinking dangerous thoughts that I needed to see this. I’m trying so hard, I really am.

(via frecklstiel)

I can confidently say that going to my doctor saved my life, and the anti-depressants I was prescribed helped (and continue to help) me beyond measure.

(via rezh0)